My subscription was up again and I renewed it, even though the only post I made was exactly one year ago when I renewed last year.

I didn’t get down on myself for investing in something that turned out to be an unused creative template last year and I am even less “invested” this year, but I still renewed for some reason.

What I am becoming aware of is that leaving a sense of possibility open is worth the investment. This feeling of graciousness towards my self is just another example of what I call The Luscious Way.

I used to think that The Luscious Way was the name of my nutritional counseling business or the name of my successful blog presence (with cute and clever merch to boot!) that would turn into an empire like Martha Stewart created. All along I knew that the name was inviting me to choose a way of being, not just a way of living. Doubt has crept in during the times when I’ve felt physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually dry, like I was an imposter sharing my secrets of being luscious when I felt so barren. A hustler selling snake oil.

Now, in this moment I just smile at the journey and welcome my huge dreams and unattainable visions. I just can’t do it all. I don’t want to do it all. I am still a pioneer, a radical visionary.  I think up the greatest plans and ideas and have come to enjoy watching others go out there and manifest them. As a member of this super visionary collective consciousness, I am rockin’ it!  All “my” ideas are showing up out there and are more beautiful than my wildest imaginations. On a personal level I seem to never run out of creative inspirations, but I do run out of confidence when I buy into the story that I am not enough because I haven’t personally manifested all these inspirations.

People who know me may disagree. They can see that I have manifested all my creative dreams and when I look at what is so, my heart agrees. So the longing to write a cookbook or paint a series of awe inspiring visionary paintings or run a real foods cooking retreat in Italy and ultimately create and run a super successful creative nourishment center on a beautiful piece of land where I can spend my days designing ritual flower mandalas to infuse more beauty into the hearts of those who show up…well, the more I notice what is so in my life, the more I realize that I can choose to feel the satisfaction of moments in my life just as I would expect to feel having created all those big, wonderful dreams!

I AM LIVING THE LUSCIOUS WAY! All my dreams are true and manifest right here and now! So what, I didn’t write a successful blog and host life changing retreats around the world last year! So what, I didn’t successfully log all my photos and recipes into a cookbook that would probably just gather dust on someone’s shelf! I felt inspired when I made a good meal to feed my friends, family or self. I felt creatively nourished when I chanted and sang while painting a lovely goddess who lives on the wall of my bedroom. I feel a deep sense of retreat and nurturing when I connect with my moms group and take long walks with my friends. My family is thriving and all the little challenges keep me in self awareness and gratitude. My home, community and day to day relationships are a clear manifestation of The Luscious Way.  I have so much to offer and what I know is the most luscious way I can nurture my self is to let my creativity unfold organically, in good time, every moment an opportunity to be grateful for what already is.

Now I just want to be valued monetarily. So, how do I create an income from this place of being?